Self Love vs Selfishness

Hey hey Elevate friends!

I'm feeling super positive vibes lately so I’m going to hit you with some more of my super inspiring words of wisdom LOL!  I’ve been asked by a couple people how I became so confident in myself. I didn’t really know how to explain that I just love who I am without sounding self absorbed. Honestly though, learning to love myself was the best decision I've ever made.

So speaking from experience I’m just gonna come out and break your heart by saying, learning to love yourself can be extremely hard. For some it may come easy, and that’s super great for those people! But that was definitely not the case for me. I struggled with mental health for a while and I did the “just smile and they’ll think you’re okay”. I do understand how hard it is to come back from a place like that. So if you decide you’re going to give the self love thing a shot please don’t give up on it, it is hard and it does take time. I believe in you.

Side note** you don’t have to hit rock bottom to change the direction of your life**

I pretty much started by deciding that I wasn’t going to let the amount of likes I got on Instagram determine my self worth. I worked on posting things because I liked the picture, rather than basing it on what I wanted people to see me as. I wanted to be happy with my life the way it is. I started appreciating the small victories in a day. I gave credit to myself everywhere I possibly could have. Nobody appreciates how far they’ve come, we all just strive for more. Finding something to reach for is the best way to stay motivated but realizing how much you’ve accomplished keeps you grounded and makes you realize how much you have already worked.

One of the hardest parts of this change in mentality was accepting the bad with the good. Seeing flaws but learning to appreciate them. Understanding that the slight differences between me and the next person is what makes us all beautiful. Everybody has their good days, looking good feeling good. In the same breath everybody also has their “I really don’t care what I look like I’m tired and I’m comfy” days (personally my favourite kind of day). We all have flaws. And I love mine, because they are a part of who I am.

In my opinion everyone just really needs to stop comparing themselves to the people we see on the internet because what we see is everyone’s good days. I know it’s way easier said than done but really one picture doesn’t not define somebody’s life. The pictures that people post capture one second in a 24 hour day (86,400 seconds in a day #math) you can’t say for sure if that smile lasted all day, or if that person has those abs after Sunday dinner. We don’t know what the rest of that person’s day looked like. All we can go off of is what they chose to show us.

Think of it this way. You are the ONLY person who knows every detail of your life. You know yourself better than anyone else in the world. You spend 24 hours a day 7 days a week with yourself. Knowingly or unknowingly you have had more conversations with yourself than you’ve had with every other person you’ve ever talked to. This also means that you don’t know anybody as well as you may think you do. You don’t know what happens beyond the pictures they post or the laughs that you share with them. They don’t know you either. People only know the fraction of you that you decide to share with them. So why do you let their judgement on that small part of you affect who you are and what you believe in?

Anyone who read my last post knows my outlook on happiness and  how to be happy. That kind of relates to loving yourself. Don’t focus on the things in the past that you can’t change or the things in the future that you can’t control. Focus on what is happening right now. Turn yourself into someone you enjoy being around. If you want to be active, be active. If you want to be able to eat 3 bags of chips in one sitting, you be the best damn chip eater you’ve ever met.

Finally, (this is my favourite point that I want to make) Loving yourself and taking care of yourself first IS NOT SELFISH. Just because you can accept yourself for who you are and realize what you need to enjoy life does not mean you are heartless or inconsiderate. You can help other people out every day and still be able to consider your own needs. If you aren’t strong minded yourself how can you expect to help other people get to that point?

You are the only person that you have no choice but to spend your entire life with. It’s honestly just easier to love who you are and own your imperfections than to fight yourself. So if you’ve read this far congratulations and thank you for being so loyal. I just want you to know that life can be so so good to you if you just let it.

Be the best you that you possibly can.

~Samantha~